MARCH - APRIL 2003

4.03.03 I CALboi78 (4:44:31 PM): should i post on xanga instead of my website? JaycenLee (4:44:35 PM): hmm JaycenLee (4:44:44 PM): but you're website is like my online oasis JaycenLee (4:44:46 PM): if there's no porn CALboi78 (4:44:46 PM): it seems easier to update JaycenLee (4:44:48 PM): i go to your site JaycenLee (4:44:49 PM): hahah JaycenLee (4:44:55 PM): cause there's always something there to read JaycenLee (4:45:01 PM): not because i j/o to your pics JaycenLee (4:45:05 PM): don't misconstrue my words CALboi78 (4:45:46 PM): im totally crackin up JaycenLee (4:46:28 PM): haha JaycenLee (4:46:29 PM): why? CALboi78 (4:46:36 PM): the thought of it JaycenLee (4:47:44 PM): lol JaycenLee (4:47:47 PM): yeah man JaycenLee (4:47:53 PM): you're nipple pic does it every time CALboi78 (4:48:07 PM): that is so gettin posted CALboi78 (4:48:09 PM): lol JaycenLee (4:48:38 PM): lol JaycenLee (4:48:39 PM): do it So starts internal debate: move to xanga or continue here? II How cool is my job? The artist I am promoting, Franky Perez, just came by our office for a lil meet & greet. He talked about making the album, we videotaped some lines for future promotions, and then he played 3 songs acoustically w/ his guitar! I mean, this is the stuff fans would die to be apart of, and here I am, getting paid for it. I must say, I’ve become a fan. Check him out: www.franky-perez.com. Note that he looks a lot better in person than the pics. My personal recommendation: Beautiful Mistakes and Something Crazy. It’s really awesome b/c a few wks ago, I’ve never heard of this dude. He’s now a featured artist on VH1 and for the House of Blues. There’ll be big exposure in the upcoming wks and I’ll be on the front lines. I mean, he actually has my number and e-mail after this mtg! And to top it all off, my intern starts today! Love it, love it. III Caught up w/ one of my best friend on the fone briefly. He might consider moving down to LA in a yr. Yay! That would be so incredibly cool. IV AIdol was so lame. They drag it out for an hr, and don’t boot anyone. This reminds me why I hate TV and refuse to follow shows.. I’m so close to boycotting them now so I can set free my Tues/Wed nites again for something more productive, like sleeping or drinking. The only redeeming thing was my KimC will be given another chance to prove herself. Pls don’t let me down this time! I’ll post more after lunch re: the rest of the nite, Uno, and tonkatsu. V CALboi78 (10:51:55 PM): i should learn to cook for u Briboy97 (10:52:16 PM): lets learn together Briboy97 (10:52:26 PM): find some recipes that u'd like to try Briboy97 (10:52:31 PM): or think of somethin u wanna cook Briboy97 (10:52:34 PM): and we'll do it together Omg, how cute is he? =D =D =D 4.02.03 I Go MTV (from billboard): "American Idol" judge Abdul is developing a reality-show competition for cheerleaders. Simpson and Lachey will star in an as-yet-untitled reality show about the first year of their marriage; that show will debut in August. I feel strangely compelled to watch Jessica & Nick get all over each other. II In other unrelated news, I thought I'd share my thoughts on AIdol from last nite (which can also be read on proudmarylives' xanga comments section): I will actually say Carmen was decent last nite. Ricky, on the other hand, needs to go -- like Now! Country boy did not celebrate w/ his tune. My KimC let me down. Clay looked like Martin Short in an ugly, ugly shirt. Mark my words, he will not be the next AI. KimL was actually fun - i can see her performing that at the next RedDragon (gay club in LA for ya'll non-angelinos). Corey's apology made me laugh. I find myself agreeing w/ Simon's comments most of the time. Paula needs to be a therapy counselor, not a judge. What's up w/ the guest judge stuck in the 70's? The disco theme was so cheesy bad karaoke. I'm actually in a good mood and am a nice guy, despite the ranting. =) 4.01.03 April Fool’s day can be a cruel day for those gullible and sensitive folks. I’d like to think I’m one w/ a sense of humor and a generally tough skin, but sometimes, certain things slip by me as less than LOL. I guess that goes further than just jokes on 4/1. One of those unintentional jokes kinda hurt 2nite. Sometimes, the joke or action itself, rather than the intention, can be hurtful. Makes me think back and wonder when have I crossed a line and offended someone unintentionally in a joke. I hope all my friends are the kind that would speak up clearly and loudly to my face if that were the case. I don’t know what I’m rambling about. Let’s just say I wish for peace, the eradication of passive-aggressiveness, and total honesty between all of my relationships: family, boyfriend, and friends. Don’t read too much into this. I’m fine and all's well. Perhaps a bit sleep deprived, and still a bit sick. G’nite. 3.31.03 I Introducing - ta-da: the tagboard! Yes, finally a place for u to voice ur love affair w/ me. Part of the reason I was so hesitant about putting up a response area is perhaps a residual scar from elementary school and middle school, when dumb classmates thought that by writing some obscenity when signing some nerdy dork's yearbook, they would automatically be considered cool. And so a nerdy dork hereby raises his hand, and prepares to bitchslap u back, b/c I have the power now to delete whatever post I want, and there would be no parents asking "let me see your yrbk afterwards." So let this begin a journey of healing; a time to erase the damage known as childhood. At least for a wk - and I'll decide to keep it or not ;-) II Maddy announced that she is pulling her controversial AmericanLife video off MTV. W/o any airtime, I'm afraid this will be a major bomb. In a sick way, maybe this will make her realize that she needs to distance herself from Mirwais and make good music again. Hurry and surf over to www.madonnainter.net to d/l your copy before WB makes him pull it off forever. 3.29.03 I For her bday, she picked The Highlands, a trendy, straight, "dress to impress" hip hop club high atop the Hollywood and Highland complex (for those of u not in the know, it's the place where the Oscars are now held). So from the description, I could already tell it is everything that is the opposite of what I'm comfortable with… namely a laid back, gay, tank-top ok, pop club. =) Nevertheless, I made the best of the situation, let go of my wallet at the bar, and had a blast. There I was, movin to the beats of rap and hip hop like I knew what I was doin when I was totally hoping a Britney rmx would somehow accidentally come on. Since when did straight boys dress so nicely? Oh I forgot, it's LA. And as for Annie, I think she had a good time as well, being totally tipsy an hr after getting in. She was the first girl I went to a dance with in high school, and it's cool to know 10 yrs later, we're still friends and sharing another dance. II So I gave the new Celine CD a few spins... and whaddya know, it grew on me. I think u have to approach this album as if it weren’t a Celine album. Many of the songs sound as if they were written for Britney - very uptempo and happy. It makes for a easy and breezy album that glides by, rather than one that tugs at every corner of your heart; in other word - not your typical Celine LP. Nevertheless, once you look past the lyrics without an ounce of credibility, the unrelenting catchy tunes and Celine’s spot on delivery eventually hook you in. Linkin Park’s Meteora isn’t bad either. I love the use of strings on several tracks, and Mike Shinoda’s voice is just too hot. Chester needs to not scream so much. 3.28.03 Ok, I like Panda Express, but anybody who thinks that is real Chinese food better watch out, cuz this chinaboy ain't gonna stand for that --- hint hint someone's roommate. 3.27.03 Slight site redesign 2nite. Do u think it's better or worse? 3.26.03 I Uneven is perhaps how I would sum up my day. Work was awesome. I'm seeing more of the entire process and the big picture. It's been really fun playing with Photoshop, designing pages, and replying to fans who are pledging to do whatever I tell them to do. While I had a great time at work, I was in shock and disbelief over Kimberly Caldwell's placement as 2nd to last tonight. Then I had some issues that I wasn't too thrilled with, to which ProudMaryLives (pluggin your soon to debut xanga!) was there to counsel me about. II If you watched last nite, u know Celine's hair is boyishly short now. MonkeyFrog said it recalled Susan Powter - Stop the Insanity! I thought that was too funny and I had to share. 3.25.03 Let me start this entry by noting that I absolutely love Celine Dion. I saw the potential of that voice since her first album in 1990, and championed her even when she became the epitome of everything that's not cool. Therefore, it is with much disgust and furor that I open my new Celine album today to find the Chrysler logo and slogan embedded prominently underneath the clear CD jewel tray. Hello?! Can we say total SELL OUT? To make matters worse, the cover looks like shit, there isn't even a design on the back of the CD case, and the "special edition 20 page booklet" is a joke. The cover is uninspired, ugly, and just plain dumb. The typeset is elementary. The pictures inside of her with the hat makes her look like Julia DeMato, which will go on record here as the worst American Idol performer tonite. The paper is good quality, and I'm afraid that is the best thing I can say about the album. The songs. Granted I've only skimmed through the album once, I can positively say this is the worst Celine album. The sound is sparse and the production seems empty and hollow. Whoever wrote these lyrics should be shot. No, shoot the person that allowed her to record these songs. One or two of these songs might grow on me, but once again, that's not saying much. I Drove All Night is actually one of the better tracks. A Cathy Dennis co-written track called Reveal is interesting, but definitely not classic Celine. I love the over the top and emotional Celine. The drama queen that we've all come to expect and love. This CD is just seems like a poor excuse to cash in on all the publicity of the opening of her Vegas show. I mean, c'mon, she repeats 2 songs from her last album on this one. Can we say rushed, lacking material, and milking her fans? I guarantee that without the name "celine dion" on the cover, these tracks and that cover would be an instant flop, never reaching the top 100 in sales. In any case, I predict a bomb for this album, and that is truly sad, because I honestly do like Celine. I mean, it's hardly the worst album ever, but I know she is capable of SO much more. This is just sad and unacceptable. I bought Linkin Park's Meteroa as well. Didn't get a chance to listen to it yet, but I hope that one is better. 3.24.03 American Life is growing on me; but that's prob b/c I'm just so excited about a new Maddy release. It's better than Die Another Day, but that's not saying much. That sappy Daniel Bedingfield track has totally grown on me as well. Ok, I have nothing profound to add 2nite. Addendum rear entry: this whole xanga world is fascinating and oh so complex, complete with a total voyeuristic feel into the mind of its author. There is some serious 6 degrees of separation at work here, as I browsed from one friend's daily read list to another's. Random clicks leads me to groups I never thought would be connected, and I end up finding sites of ppl that I've met over the past few months. Interesting what you can read online, esp. when you, or ppl you know are the main topic of the entries. Makes me think twice about my random rear entries now. Oh wait, I'm not linked on xanga. =Þ 3.23.03 I On Sat nite, I was surrounded by Mandarin speaking gay boys and their fag hags, taking shots for Taiwan, and comparing fob shot. That was a first. And since it was fun, hopefully, not the last. Anyhow, I experienced the Delayed Sourdough Jack Effect. Basically, it meant that I ate a SJ b4 the party and that soaked up all the initial shots. By the time my body digested the alcohol soaked SJ, I also had 5 more shots, and it was like WHAP! Hit me I'm drunk! =) So I apologize if I turned into a total lush who slurred and spat all over you. Anyhow, I had fun. Thanks to David, who drove home while I sprawled out unattractively in the back seat and snored all the way back from OC. I was kinda bummed I didn't get a chance to hang out w/ Lee tho, who was down in LA this wknd. II Go Spirited Away, Eminem, and CZJ! A rather bland Oscar cast that wasn't overly painful, yet lacked any real unforgettable moments. I think I need to go watch The Pianist now. Far From Heaven was robbed, IMHO. III Maddy's American Life was officially released today.. as a digital single. My initial reaction: jarring, quirky, and weird. That's not entirely a bad thing, but it's not good either. Like Die Another Day, I think the song falls kinda flat at moments and is lacking a certain oomph. It's almost as if the ingredients are great, and the potential is huge, but it just never fully explodes or comes together. The rap part is a shocker and I love it. It's totally Maddy's sense of humor. I think the club remixes with pounding beats should beat some life into this song. Otherwise, to borrow a modified line from the song, "this American Life is not for me." Get rid of Mirwais pls. 3.20.03 normally when i dont workout, i lose weight. damn metabolism. if i could bottle that and sell it, i'd be swimmin in cash rite now. its alarming lately that ive gained almost 6-7 lbs. from gorging while i watch 2hr special episodes of American Idol. as previously stated, i dont gain weight when i dont workout, so this tell me i must be puttin on major fat! those of u that see me, pls be honest and tell me if my face starts balloning up. true, i may be closer to hitting my ideal weight of 135, but i dont wanna do it thru food; i want it to be thru muscles--buldging ripping muscles. so i talked my ass into the gym tonite. i dont remember the last time i went to the gym (bad me), so it was particularly tough trying to do what i used to be capable of... i sit there with a 35 lb. freewight and watch the medium build guy next to me, sit down, and pick up a 75 pounder. i know its not supposed to matter but damn, i'd kill for those arms. so i hereby announce the return of my gym regimen. I shall be there at least 3-4x a wk, and i am determined to not only get back to where i was in january, but a few notches beyond it. summer is coming up shortly, and i want my bf to be proud to show me off, hehe. so for all the vain reasons in the world, i am ready to return full force back into the sueprficial world of the gym -- after this wknd's big 4 hr oscarfest in front of the tv, of course. ;-) 3.19.03 I So now that the war's actually started, I guess there isn't a need to be all anti-war on my end. Might as well hope for a swift victory so we can get this over with ASAP. Elections are next Nov right? I'm so looking forward to it.. Speaking of voting, how the hell is Julia or Corey still in while Charles is out?! And they are tearing down the Fell Street exit in SF? There is seriously no justice left in the world. Argh! II On a happier note, congrats to islandboy, who seems to have finally come to his sense lately. But then again, I've been there, done that, so I know how difficult it is to see past the crush and infatuation to see the big picture. Nevertheless, well done. Princess points restored. III And a special shoutout to ms koo, who started her own xanga site - yay! hehe 3.18.03 I Take a legendary 80’s duo, put one of them in full Victorian drag. He performs the hell out of classics such as Oh’Lamour and A Little Respect in front of a crowd on its feet and what do you have? A helluva good time! Monday nite, thanks to Jason and Brian, I got to witness the renowned pop icon Erasure perform their hit catalog and new tracks at the Mayan in dwntwn LA. For 2 hrs, the crazy duo on stage belted out hit after hit.. and the event was gay enough for my boyfriend to be wrapped around me for 1/2 of the show. A totally memorable nite. Meanwhile, at the ‘ol 9-6, they’ve given me my very own account - my first artist to promote. I’m excited - this should be fun! =) On a more somber note, as a friend’s journal pointed out, this is about to be the second time in my life that a Bush is declaring war on Iraq. It seems so detached and surreal for me to read thru the cnn reports about ppl fleeing and possible attack plans. It reads like a script or a plot summary. It’s so hard to imagine the stuff u see on tv and in movies actually happening in real life, yet this is the reality we face today. I drove past the closed off Hollywood Blvd on my way to work today and saw the big Oscar tent erected for the show in 4 days. I’m excited about so much lately – the Oscars, Madonna’s new album, my new job, my friends, and my boyfriend. Yet halfway around the world, a grave mass destruction of lives and society is about to take place. It’s just unreal. So until it sinks in, I’m just gonna live my life normally and chat away about how Ruben’s Whole New World blew me away 2nite, and that my preliminary final 5 picks so far are Ruben, Kimberly C, Trynese, Josh, and Clay. And there u have it, I’m too tired to polish up the entry. II Latest breaking new: I'm sorry if this is offensive, but they are canceling the damn Oscar red carpet preshow "in honor" of the troops and the impending war. I am fucking pissed. So cancel the red carpet but not cancel the award show - how is that showing "respect?" The red carpet is often a highlight, even with the annoying Joan Rivers and Missy. This war sucks. So I might be offense here, sue me. 3.17.03 from imdb.com: The producers of NBC's Second Chance: America's Most Talented Senior have scheduled auditions in -- where else? -- Miami this Wednesday for a kind of senior American Idol competition. "We just know there's a lot of untapped talent out there in that age demographic," Vail Schwarz, NBC casting associate, told Florida Today. "We are looking for talent and for personality -- that creative spark and inner glow." Participants must be 50 or older by May 1 (they're required to bring proof of age to the audition) and are asked to "dress to impress." I just found this newsworthy to share, despite its frivolousness against my bf's poignant and hearfelt entry on his page. =D 3.16.03 New collage from the SF trip is now up in the Image Gallery! =) 3.15.03 I’m so glad I’m gay. Went to the infamous 3 (of) Clubs in Hollywood last nite, where B and C celebs rolled joints in front of my face and rowdy white boys jumped without rhythm to splendid 80’s pop tunes. I had an eye-opening good nite. Namely, I think I’ve been so entrenched and accustomed to gay culture and gay clubs that being at a unruly straight dive bar made me feel like a fish out of water, eagerly awaiting my splash back under the sea. It’s ironic that when I came out to my sister, she was sad b/c she thought my life would be so hard. Almost 6 yrs later, I find myself saying thank god I’m not straight, b/c my life would be so difficult. Despite the struggle for acceptance in society, I think that the gay community is so much freer than that of their straight counterparts. The overarching theme in our community seems to be freedom for us to be who we want to be. Gone are the notions that men must be masculine, like sports, and not cry. Watch out on grinding too much on the dancefloor, or being overly sensitive or romantic b/c u’ll be branded a pussy. As much as I am aware that these are stereotypes, this is pretty much what I witnessed last nite in the club. It’s odd, that being “restricted” and “repressed” by society, I’ve never felt freer to be who I want to be and more proud to be gay. Ps: i finally remembered target="_blank". I can spawn new windows now! 3.13.03 Ni how ma? Today's ramdom thoughts: Go Kimberly Caldwell! Love AmIdol, but they gotta stop these 2hr episodes! New job is still goin very well. Lovin every min of it. =) Never knew I had so many "enemies," or rather, had such a bad rep up north w/ certain folks. I mean, I understand that sometimes photo sessions can't be scheduled for everyone and breakups don't end well, but u'd think after 5 yrs, ppl would get over it.. or at least that the trashtalking would subside. But I guess when you're 22 and your hairline is receding faster than your masculinity, it's hard to drop the attitude and let go of petty grudges. I find even worse those who judge me or pass negative comments about me BEFORE they've ever even been in the same room with me. *pause here to majorly roll my eyes* Oh well, I'll chalk that up to their narrow-mindedness and immaturity. Oh wait, I'm guilty here of pre-judging as well. Ok, scratch that. In conclusion, I may not be perfect all the time or make all the right decisions, but I think I am a swell guy, a nifty boyfriend, and a great friend. If u find the case to be otherwise, I welcome a debate, to my face, not behind my back, or to my bf's ears b4 mine. It's about time we stop the petty dramas and further perpetuate the drama queen stereotypes of gay men. Anyhow, my life will be just peachy without the addition of these naysayers. =Þ 3.11.03 Fuji764 (2:44:57 PM): oh whatever shoulder ass..same thing Fuji764 (2:45:13 PM): hey for me they are both flat 3.10.03 I LOVE MY JOB. Yes, after weeks of tormented ranting on that fucked up stint and commute at eUniverse, I am happy to report that day one at Fanscape was everything I expected and so much more. The laid back, casual, and rocking "thank tank" where all of us account managers work is a space where autographed posters adorn the walls and MTV is blasting the entire day. The meetings involved discussions of how to hype up Dar Williams by appealing to Tori Amos' and Oprah's fans. And I am being handed (get ready for the big punchline drumroll) the Mariah Carey account!! Yes, ironically after years of endlessly making fun of this woman, it seems that I will be spending the next few months getting my 48,000 strong online street team to hype up Charmbracelet. Omg, I am so excited. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow to go to work, and folks, this is truly and amazing feeling. Once again, I am pushing off the facelift of my website b/c I'm just too tired tonite... 3.09.03 an absolutely fabulous wknd, captured in some 210 pics. i'll put up a collage and do a recap somewhere sometime soon... in very short summary, i love my friends. sf is such an amazing city. my boyfriend is fabulous. i still feel like a boy who took one too many prozak, but hey, im enjoying this high on life thing. anyhoo, it's time to sleep and gear up for day one on the new job! i'll postpone the major overhaul of my site until later. 3.06.03 Ok kids, it's off to gay bay I go! Prob no internet access until Sunday nite, so no updates til then... and call my cell if u need me! Great wknd everyone. *inserts the Immaculate Collection -- drive* 3.05.03 I Public approval is always sweet: F*****4 (6:06:52 PM): OH! did I mention..you and Brian are the CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTEST couple I swear! (referring to B again) C*******t (6:07:37 PM): AWWWW C*******t (6:07:40 PM): thats soooooo sweet Ok, sorry, just wanted to gloat for a minute. II In other news, this is shaping up to be quite a Madonna year! Her new album comes out 4/22 and she will be releasing a special collector's box to celebrate her 20th year anniversary since her debut album. Imagine that.. 20 years later, she is still making headlines and relevant music. Gotta love this woman! To gear up for the new CD, I am returning The Immaculate Collection, Like a Prayer, Ray of Light, and Music back into regular CD rotation. I think ROL is seriously climbing up there as my fav album of all time, quite possibly displacing LAP to 2nd. And Music, upon further listen, is just so inferior to ROL. I am somewhat worried about this new album, since she teams up again with Mirwais. I say ditch that guy already and get back with Orbit and Patrick Leonard! Anyhow, can't wait for American Life. The single should debut on the radio by 3/25 - 20 days away! If she tours again, I am so ready to faint at her feet. *faint* =D III SO excited about SF! Looks like lotsa ppl will show up at the Happy Hour on Friday.. and it'll be so great to see some old and familiar faces again. I can't wait to take Brian all around SF. It's such a beautiful city. IV Man, with the sun up later and later each day, the weather getting warmer and warmer, I find myself in such a great mood all the time. Sometimes I find myself singing at the top of my lungs, rocking out in the 4unner with the sunroof open, and just feeling so great about everything. Sorry, just had to sound like a total dork and gloat for another minute. Now I'm done. Gotta run for American Idol time! V Go Kimberly Caldwell! woohoo VI All about E2 is being updated regularly now too... surf on over. Details on the Jason for American Idol 3 campaign will be set up soon. 3.03.03 Jealousy and insecurity is such a bitch to deal with in relationships. I’m thankful that after 3 previous rounds, I am in much greater control of my emotions and imagination. I think I’ve learned to not shoot without thinking, and to hold back and calm down. Equally as important, I’ve also learned to be straightforward and rid most traces of passive-aggressiveness in my system. I’m not perfect, and I know I’ll never be, but I’m satisfied with my development thus far. Trust is a scary, scary thing... to just let go, be open, and trust. I will go to bed with a smile tonight knowing that I didn’t act dumb, held back, trusted, and remain trusting tonight to that trusty someone. 3.02.03 I the party at brian's place was a blast. why i got so drunk once again, i dont know.. maybe it was someone telling me to line 'em up (the shots) and that we should finish the bicardi bottle... or maybe i'm just happy and want to drink to celebrate. nevertheless, i ended up spilling a cup of something on my shirt. then my drunkass proceeds to take a bunch of pics, w/ my wetspot totally visible. go here to see what im talking about http://geocities.com/enticer51378/wet.html II I think I've got that hardcore tweaked out circuit club thing out of my system… but damn, the new Yoko Ono remixes, when blasted up on good speakers are fierce! The Peter Rauhofer and Danny Tenaglia rmx of Walking on Thin Ice are brilliant. The Pet Shop Boys' remixed version is pretty happy trancey as well. Anyways, just enjoying the music; no desire to reintroduce illegal substances into my body at this point. III Omg, nxt wknd in SF is shaping up one amazing helluva time. First off, I get to spent 3 day+ in a row w/ my boyfriend - our first roadtrip-yay! I'ev jampacked our Friday schedule already; from Cal to Castro. Friday afternoon's happy hr promises to be such a huge eclectic mix of friends I haven't seen for so long. Sat nite is a revisit to the beloved Café. I'm bringing the camera, so hopefully this site will be chockfull of new pics nxt wk. IV Caught up today w/ an old friend on the fone. I haven't seen her in ages, but she manages to crack me up everytime. I can't help but fall to the floor w/ laughter from stories of her parents urging her to sign up at gogodating.com, or how her dad tries to get her set up by e-mailing her pics to his friends (how many times did I just use the word 'her'). Anyhow, she's great, and a great catch. I'm contemplating whether I should devote a whole new page on my site to help her parents out in this crusade to get her set up w/ a decent man. So if u know a straight male in the bay area who is unattached, going through divorce, or is still breathing (which beats the men of gogodating.com already), pls email me and I will forward the info asap. I really hope I will be able to pry her away from her biz obligations nxt wk for a few moments so I can laugh with her in person. = )

JANUARY - FEBRUARY 2003

2.27.03 I’m not kidding when I say I’m livin’ up the unemployed life. Woke up at 1030, but didn’t crawl out of bed until 11. Followed that up by watching the Notorious Cho on DVD in my PJ’s, then spent the afternoon e-mailing and d/l MP3’s. Ate dinner with parents, and now I am deciding what to wear for my nite out at Tiger Heat w/ my boy and friends. And the odd thing is, I actually can’t wait to start work! For the first time, I actually feel excited about my job. I’m gonna keep my word and visit all my friends up in SF before I start on the 11th, so next wknd, SF watch out, I’m coming up again! Man, I’m gonna go knock on some wood, because I’m just so content with everything in my life right now. Ok, time to put on that tight tee and go shake my booty. hehe. 2.26.03 breaking news: GOT IT! YAY - woohoo!! And within the 3mth timeframe I gave myself too! More later... Need to go call ppl and be giddy now! 2.25.03 they asked for references. not gon get too excited.. not gon get too excited.. but i take this as a good sign. figners continued to be crossed. had a small cd shopping spree today that yielded in the norah jones album, chicago soundtrack, and the t.A.T.u cd - used. boys and gentlemen, if lesbian chipmunks with accents recorded an album, this would be it. so i heard they might be pretend lezbos and i know they are so manufactured, but hey, i like the beats. and i did get the grammy-sweeping norah to make up for some artistic credit at the checkout lines. hehe. congrats to trina - who quickly landed in the temp pool. it's only uphill from here. good luck! 2.24.03 maybe i didnt get the job? damn, why wont they just tell me already. at least i dont have to go to that nightmare of a job anymore at euniverse. the anxiety of waiting at home is too much - im gonna go hit the gym for the first time in over a mth. i LOVE not having to work. :-) 2.22.03 20 sec. preview clip of Madonns'a new single! Click on the Madonna link now. Margaret Cho is amazing. See below. According to a polite email reply, I'll hear the decision re: job after the wknd. I quit. YAY! I'm free! I might actually have a min ot two to myself again. 2.20.03 Still awaiting the results today. Call me already and end this fucking torture. I personally would be very surprised if they don’t offer me the job after last nite’s interview, but my confidence is slipping like sand through an hourglass with each passing minute. Folks, these are the days of our lives, and somebody really needs to spice up this soap with a happy ending. 2.18.03 Here’s a thought for ya’ll to ponder: What would it be like to have sex with Cher? Here’s another thought: does where you accidentally drive to when you are tired and your brain is turned off mean anything? Things that make you go hmmmm. Here’s another earth shattering thought: I missed all except the last 10 min of the Joe Millionaire finale! Somebody catch my tears! *tear* Here are some other colossal updates: a) EVERYONE cross your fingers for me. I’m up for round 2 interview tomorrow at this incredibly cool (and entertainment related!) job. I don’t wanna divulge more b/c I don’t wanna count my chicks b4 they hatch... but I feel pretty damn confident about it. b) got to spend Vday w/ my special boy. Yay, yay lucky me. Damn why is he so hot and sweet?! (no, he’s not a Chinese dish. I am. =) c) daredevil should be rated R. the bridge actually checks student ID’s. d) Good luck to the talented PR extraordinaire Ms Koo nxt wk at Monster! 2.10.03 I see my life as a delicate balance upheld by 4 basic totem poles: family/friends, work/school, health, and relationship. Generally, if 3 of them are standing steadily, I’m doing great. We all need to constantly improve and get better; so 1 pole should always need work. Right now, the work one is definitely taxing strain on the other 3. I know I’m generally a happy guy who gets over things without too much neurosis, but with work taking up 645am – 730pm of my Mon-Fridays with total unpleasantness, it gets hard. Sure there are manageable moments, but they are usually short periods heightened by an IM from briboy or a friend, or when I realize 630 is coming quickly around the bend. 10 mins ago, I signed an insertion order for $100K under my name. It’s my first as an account manager, it’s big, and it’s scary. I guess I should derive some pleasure seeing how far I’ve come since 2000, when I had to get permission to optimize a $1500 campaign. But at the end of the day, I’m sacrificing time I could spend on/with my friends/family. I’m mentally drained and I can’t wait to run out of here and pursue something I really care about. The other 3 totem poles... they’re really keeping me going. Mom packed a great lunch for me... I got to catch up with one of my best friends over the wknd... hung out and explored LA aimlessly with a buddy on Sat (a much needed turn off the brain day)... hit a club with a group of fun and crazy friends... and making me most happy of all, (but bearing the grunt work of my recent job complaints) another great wknd with b. Whether it’s dinner down the block, a libidinous afternoon, or just being next to him, holding his hand—-it has been an incredible high. I prob talked too much about him already, so I’ll keep this short and private instead. Anyhow, next on the agenda, further and more extensive job hunting, catching up and making time for friends, allowing myself some private downtime, getting back on a gym workout routine, and making sure b is happy and the progress is good. There, now that all the goals are in writing, I’ll be forced to achieve them. Wish me luck. 2.08.03 i promise i'll update this thing tomorrow =Þ time to head out.. again! 2.04.03 Grrrrr... UGH.... F$&k! Yes, day 1 on the job was that grrrreat. Thank god for my friends who listened to me complain nonstop on my 1hr+ commute... and of course to my briboy... who hasn't failed to brighten up every single one of my days for the past few wks. 2.03.03 i think my sleeping pill is kickin into effect and i am about to have an out of body expereince... the keyboard is swaying... all this for my 645 wake up time tomorrow so I can battle the 405 and get to my first day of work. yay. the dbl paycheck every month should be nice w/o rent. i should plan on taking my friends out to dinner... and find more ways to spoil the guy who always leaves a smile on my face at the end of the nite... suggestions are welcome in my InBox anytime. 2.02.03 karaoke. chinese new year feast. lorraine's bday at lola's. b's sleepover at my house. final destination 2. more fun times w/ b. my last wknd of freedom was wonderful. 1.31.03 a) I will be whoring myself out for money. Yep, boys and gentlemen, I will be back workin’ it starting Tuesday, 9:30am sharp. Even tho I could careless about the company or the commute, two paychecks a month does beat the current $0/mth situation. Not to mention I finally get to add a Manager title to my resume... and work 2mi from my boy’s apartment. I’ll look at this a temp thing and make the best of it while it lasts... So Hollywood, call me soon. I might go insane back in this high tech industry. b) Congrats to Little Giraffe, who had the sense to hire a fabulous employee today as well. Best wishes to my Wheat-Thins friend up north, that a great company will come to its senses soon and hire her. c) I won a bobblehead doll from Tigerheat last nite. It is swaying its head and singing Chori Chori Chori to me at the moment. I better party it up before my enslavement back in a 9-5 on Tuesday. Happy Chinese New Year all! 1.29.03 a) 2:40pm. Cell rings. No caller ID. An HR-sounding lady asks for me. I say hello back. The call is dropped. I panic. I recall that all the entertainment companies I applied to recently were given my cell number. I try *69. My stomach ends up in knots. I get a bloody nose. Nervous breakdown. Total drama queen. 4:30pm. I figure out call-forwarding, 2hrs too late. She still hasn’t called back. Cruel, cruel woman. Thanks to Little Giraffe, who stayed on the fone to make sure I would be ok. Am I ever ok? b) Flu downgraded to a stuffy nose. Awaiting American Idol 2. Still happily dating that cute boy you see in the middle column. Be envious, be jealous, but I know u’re all happy for me. hehe. c) Goin to see Margaret Cho’s new tour in Feb! Woohoo. That and Erasure in March. I hope they do Oh L’amour, one of my all time fav’s... I guess these are decent alternatives since Cher and all the homos of Fresno/Tucson were against my friends and I. d) Shania! writes! awful, kindergarten! leve!l lyrics! Celine’s new One Heart song is catchy as hell. e) Round 2 interviews for the company/position I don’t really care about went extremely well. I predict a lowball offer soon with a commission component. I think I should just take it and view is as a temp thing if they do make an offer. I just worry about the stress level that’ll accompany a quota/commission position... 1.26.03 poo. i think im coming down w/ the flu. already did theraflu... goin for nyqil next. i think i wont know my name tomorrow am from all the drugs. 1.25.03 They say that when it's your animal's year in the Chinese zodiac calendar, it's your bad luck year. I am a horse (no hung jokes pls :) and my bad luck horse yr is quickly coming to an end on 2/1. There is perhaps some truths to that superstition... how else could I explain the great fortune I've been experiencing recently? He's amazingly cute... incredibly nice... and at the end of the day, always leaves me giddy and all fuzzy inside. I dunno where this will all go, but this time around, I'm just gonna take it one day at a time and enjoy it all the way. 1.23.03 "You ready B? Let's go get 'em.. Look for me! Young, B Cruisin down the westside highway Doing what we like to do our way" hehe... (no i didnt write that.. jay-z did) 1.22.03 Mood & Song of the moment: Ella Fitzgerald - "I've Got a Crush On You" 'The world will pardon my mush Cause I've got a crush, my baby, on you' 1.21.03 It's that time of the month again when I once again decree that I've clubbed enough. For me, it's all about the music and the company… and the two couldn't have been better all wknd. So there were too many Britney songs, a bad Maddy drag-impersonator, and the ubiquitous 'dirrty'... But there were also equal parts, if not greater, company that I was with… I was so scared about moving back to LA and starting that social life from zero; but 2 mths later, I must admit, it hasn't been all that bad. Granted my closest confidantes and hangout buddies are still more than 300 miles away, but I'm starting to make SoCal a bit more like home again. In fact, the little curve balls that gets thrown my way just makes this ride of life all that much more interesting and enjoyable. Random thoughts: a) I don't care how high-brow and award-winning The Hours seems to be… I give it an F. It bored me to tears and made me want to drown myself along w/ Nicole. Far From Heaven all the way. b) Finally caught Bowling for Columbine at my sister's insistence. Loved it. But it was a downer as there were no solutions for all the problems presented. Maybe we should all start unlocking our doors like our friendly neighbor to the north? Nah. c) Japanese curry. Quickly rising to the top echelon of my list. Gawd why are those Japanese ppl so brilliant?! I think I had tears in my eyes as I scoffed down that delicious plate half-buzzed on Sunday nite. d) I think its time for a minor facelift to the site. There are WAY too many pics of myself and I swear I am not vain… ok, not *that* vain… lol.. Next step, downsize the site. e) Mom, sister, and I enjoyed a 5 hr drive to SF, laughing about the CDs I made them for xmas... def a good family bonding moment. I so wished I could just come out to my parents and confirm it for them already… current excuse/condition: I'll disclose the 411 when I bring home a respectable and charming fella for them to meet… 1.20.03 where do i start? lets just end w/ i had a really good wknd... = ) 1.15.03 ok, all packed and ready to drive up to SF again... helping lil sis move out of her brainwashing soroity house, thank gawd. and on a whim i scheduled an interview w/ google, despite having no intentions of moving back to the lovely bay yet.. oh well, good practice, and chance to check out the much hyped google HQ! well, back on sat.. and ready to party! =D 1.14.03 II So we went to this jazz lounge at nite, my first. I had a wonderful time. The band was awesome and this lady could SING. Had a great conversation afetrwards w/ the group, and I just remember laughin most of the nite. That's how I like it. =D 1.14.03 Nothing really exciting to update. I mean, if this were an online journal, I would blab on.. but its not. Tried to go shopping today, but whaddya know.. Blommies is closed for inventory! What luck. Maybe it's a sign. Oh well. Structure (Express just still has that fem ring to it.. hehe) was having a 60% storewide sale, so I made a totally mindless purchase. thank god for my new fashion consultant, who did great for his first day on the job, b/c god knows i cant dress for shit. or least i think i cant. Debating whether there are too many pics of myself up here... too vain... but then again, talking about it here is pretty self indulgent as well. =Þ I'm having another Spirited Away craving... think I'll go pop in the dvd now. Good luck Nettie tomorrow! Yay!! 1.11.03 So we went to this hole in the wall WT karaoke joint... and for A's bday, they gave her a BJ shot... off MY crotch! LOL. She couldnt bring herself to do it, so one of the guys in our party "volunteered" to help out. So there we were, surrounded by WT-alike, with a guy in my crotch taking a BJ shot. Wild nite. But alas, I am sober, and home before 4am. = ) Uploaded 2 new pics under the 2nd image page from the event. Unfortunately, not the BJ shot... and I'm back in d/l heaven. Current fav's: coldplay - clocks, frou frou - breathe in, rubyhorse, sparkle 1.10.03 it's been awhile since i just stayed in and vegged on a friday nite... and boy did it feel grrrreat! Updates: a) the eAwards 02 decisions are up. Yes, I must have some sort of complex to do this... but hey, it's fun and its my website. See if your taste in films is good by seeing how many of your choices match w/ mine. =D b) uploaded more pics in the pictures section. I prob have too many pics of myself there... but whatever, it's the area gettin the most hits anyways. =Þ c) happy 25th birthday to my movie buddy... a thumbs up for you. d) havent d/l any new songs in awhile.. what is goin on out there? who is this lesbian duo tatu w/ their annoying, but everso catchy single? and why do i like kid rock's latest w/ sheryl crow? scary... smilez and southstar - tell me - ok, a soft spot for that asian dude who's rapping and thinking he's all hard. yummy, he can make me hard. haha. and finally, sixpence's remake of don't dream its over - as featured in the trailer for how to lose a guy in 10 days is simply delicious. e) I only went to UCSD for freshman yr and I complained the whole time i was there... but looking back on it, it was my most enjoyable year of college. I look back at ucsd w/ fond memories today and highly recommend the instituion to everyone, even over Berkeley... anyhow the point of this rambling session is I just surfed over the ucsd website. I went to Roosevelt there, and holy cow.. they are constructing a whole new monster of a campus for ERC! Go 5th college! It looks fanatastic and I can't wait to pay it a visit when it's done. So all you high school juniors out there, check out UCSD. It's up and coming, and it's a great place to be. (I'd pick Muir, btw.) 1.06.03 NYE2003 collage up in the image section... it features pics from events that don't violate geocitie's policies.. haha. Anyhow, I declare Joe Millionaire my new Anna Nicole Show - so bad that its good. Once again, leave it up to Fox to bring TV to a new low.. Ok, need to go prepare for my interview tomorrow... wish me luck. 1.05.03 im so clubbed out for the mth... and im stickin to that... at least until nxt wknd ;-) well, 2002 went out w/ a bang and i def rang in 2003 w/ an even bigger bang. the party continued in LA w/ ms koo and mr dang in town... it was clubs, bars, malls, kareoke, and just bonding moments all wknd... im so ready to snuggle up w/ someone now and just make it blockbuster nites for awhile. the last 2 wks have been memorable... time to get back to reality. somebody hire me now! i am very good... w/ a lot of things =D 1.02.03 I am so officially in love. With San Francisco. Whether it's walking down Castro, driving through my old Hayes valley neighborhood... hitting the cafe, orphan andy's, or even 1015... the city is just so full of memories and beauty. I love the people, I love the charm, I love it all. One day, I know I will end up back in SF. It just feel like home. It just feels so absolutely right. I am so glad I went up to the bay this wknd. I saw just about everybody I wanted to see. Stay tuned for some wild photos from New Years Eve! NYE 2003 was definitely one for the record books. I think I spent the nite laughing nonstop with great buddies, lots of alcohol, and a great fall. My ass is so bruised at the moment.. and it ain't even from another guy!! Ugh! This pretty much also marks my 1yr anniversary of being single... and being unattached these past 12mths has made me truly realize what amazing friends I have... and how much I owe all of them for their nonstop fun and support. I am so lucky to have ppl whom I totally trust and confide in... Ok, I'm blabbing away in this tiny window... more later. Better sleep now, b/c 2 of my best friends are sleeping in the guest room at the moment.. and another exciting wknd await us in LA! Happy 21st Cindy! Finally legal... = )

NOVEMBER - DECEMBER 2002

12.30.02 warning: stay away from The Hours. 3 deperssed, suicidal, suffocating, miserable women. There, thats the whole movie. Aside from that, it was a pleasant outing to the Grove today... all geared up for the lil trip to SF for NYE... shoudl be so much fun to reunite w/ friends I haven't seen in awhile. Happy New Year people, if I don't get to update this tomorrow. =D Wishing you all a great 2003. 12.29.02 Catherine Zeta-Jones baby... Call me gay, but Chicago was hugely entertaining and I highly recommend it to y'all. And it looks like NYE plans are firm. Watch out SF, here I come! =D 12.28.02 rest. relax. redesign. recharge for the wknd. 12.27.02 thought for the moment: clubbing is fun, but it's even more fun to have that special some1 to snuggle up to when its over and you're home. recap of the nite: tigerheat was a blast. my sister had a great time. everything went well... except miss P. i dont think i can ever eat a reg. sized yoshinoya chicken bowl again ; | 12.26.02 Hope everybody had a great Xmas! Tonite marks my lil sister's debut at a gay club... no, b4 u ask, there's only 1 raging homo in the household =). And I do apologize that she's starting out w/ Tiger Heat, but alas, it looks like that's how it's all gonna go down... = ) Should be a blast! By the way, the cds for parents/sister were a big hit. They cracked up for hours. That made all the hard work completlely worth it. 12.22.02 Went out w/ a group of friends last nite.. and whaddya know, someone I went to jr high w/ and havent seen for 11 yrs was there! omg, what a fun filled nite of drinking and memories w/ old high school friends, new acquaintances, and an old jr high buddy!! Watched The Two Towers today. What a big film. Def. a mustsee on the big screen. 12.20.02 I just spent the past oh.. 72 hours slaving over xmas presents for my family and one of my best friend. I'm gonna lose my usual humility and officially pronounce myself a creative, technical, and artistic genius. =D I won't go into detail, but let's just say I digitally transferred mom's guitar playing and singing from the 70's, dad's out of tune performance at the kareoke, and endless performances from my sister for the past 21 yrs - burned them all into individual CDs and created exquisite cd jackets and artwork. My family members are all now singers with their own albums. And for one of my best friends, I scanned in every picture Ihave of him for the pasy 10 yrs, and digitally transferred some old videotapes of our crazy times, and made him a "The Last Ten Years" compilation vcd/disk. Again, another professional looking cd jacket accompanies the gift. I'm SO exhautsed. It's been literally nonstop for the past 72 hrs... but I can't wait to see the smiles on their faces when they finally unwrap them in a few days... It makes this all worthwhile. While I'm at it, Happy Holidays everyone. 12.18.02 Yeah baby! I'm very happy w/ my NL interview -- think I answered all the questions w/ solid replies. To celebrate, I blew $80 on eBay. Hayao Miyazaki - Studio Ghibli fans will tell me its $$ well-spent. Other ppl will think I'm nutz. Oh well, they don't appreciate art and can't tell a masterpiece when they see it. I can't wait for my Totoro, Kiki, Spirited Away, Pom Poco, etc... to arrive!! 12.17.02 About Schmidt was so slow and depressing. It's not gonna top my list like many of the early critic lists. Nicholson is a lock for Best Actor nomination - mark my words. Coming soon: my annual eAwards for the best in the movies of 2002! 12.16.02 Can it rain any harder please?! Anyhow, wow, 1st time at red dragon... adapation was beyond bizarre... and the taping of the 70's show, despite being very funny, was utterly exhuasting (laughing at retakes and the same jokes 5-6x!)... and now the words I never though I'd say: Jessica simpson was really good on the show! best line of the nite: Jackie: "I didn't know they allowed slutballs in here.: JessicaS: "I saw you in here so I thought it would be ok." Jackie: "Oh, u so just dissed yourself there." JessicaS: "I know I did, but do you?" LOL. 12.12.02 Xmas is 12 days away?! Eeeks - I had no clue! Nevertheless, I'm revving up for an excitement filled wknd - I'm finally well!! so the wknd: a bs interview, taping of the 70's show, mr yuen's visit, hitting the clubs for the first time since turkey day (somewhere in weho fri and maybe reddragon sat?), adaptation, about schmidt, xmas shopping, and as always, more of mom's delicious home cooking. :) 12.11.02 Walmart shoppers - Aaliyah's new collection is only $8.49!!! It's already a deal, but the CD is packaged with a bonus DVD of all her videos! Too bad it doesn't include my personal fav - If Your Girl Only Knew. 12.10.02 1) What a diff a few days make! So I'm still kinda sick... but at least I don't feel like death. After a short dry spell, I lined up 3 interviews todays!! Woohoo! A good friend's coming down from SF this wknd... might be ready to go out and party again for the first time since Thxsgiving... Things are def on the up, and I intend to keep it that way! =D 2) Just finished Donnie Darko. Twisted, original, weird. I loved it. What a soundtrack! 12.07.02 The Devil's Backbone was excellent. I highly recommend it. 12.06.02 musta partied too hard... or i'll just say thx to ms koo, b/c it's been a wk and i'm still sick as a dog. thank god for the new 57' tv + sony dream system. i am making this a blockbuster wknd. showing soon at the nyQuil home theater: devil's backbone, donnie darko, being john malkovich. 12.04.02 ~phew. That was an action packed Thxgiving wknd! From the ER, to the clubs, the bars, the movies, the hotel, and the yummilicious food, I just wanna say 10q to all my friends who made it such a memorable and crazy wknd to remember. 11.28.02 Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 11.04.02 Temporarily moved back in the 818 w/ the parental units for awhile... eeeks!   Somebody come take me out and corrupt me!! :-)

APRIL 2003 - XANGA